sometimes i feel like i'm so messed up beyond words that i try and seek out why i am the way i am through astrology, personality tests, etc.

my gpa dropped again, and by a lot this time, and lately i've been having troubles with my digestion. i just feel like i'm so irresponsible and i can't take care of myself properly. i keep shopping and spending money impulsively. i have trouble managing my money. and i have trouble managing my own body and health. and i have trouble being hardworking and diligent in school.

i don't know what i'm good for honestly.

everyone is living their lives diligently and i'm wasting mine away.

i know how to go about living my life better but everyday i just stay in bed and i know i should do things but i just don't?

i hate the way that i am and i wish i wasn't me. i wish i was a better person with a better personality. i wish i could restart my life.

that's all i know. i only know how to wish for things to happen but i don't go out to achieve them and that's my fucking problem.