leaving on a jet plane

I'm going on a short trip to Hat Yai tomorrow with my family and it's my first time taking a budget airline! I think everyone usually packs light for budget flights and I'm only going on a 4D3N trip, but I've come to the realization that I am just an incorrigible maximalist at heart.

Clothes. I think I did fairly ok in this section?? 

Makeup. Looking at it now it does seem a bit excessive lol. I can imagine experienced light packers tutting and shaking their heads. 

Toiletries. At this point I'm slightly embarrassed of myself. I did take out the Hada Labo lotion in the end because I felt I was being ridiculous. Sadly, I decided to add in my hair serum and oil hahaha. The face masks are there because I am super paranoid about getting a tan. I desperately do not want one.

Did I really need to bring two books, two cameras, and two pairs of shades? I am truly the worst. Do not invite me on a backpacking trip. I will bring along my entire house. 

Bye!

mediocrity

.....

do you ever feel like there are just so many things in the world for a person to do, but there are always so many limitations, be it time, money, location, etc.? except that i don't really have any excuses because in my case it's usually lots of aspirations but no motivation. 

i want to write good content to develop a portfolio of sorts,

i want to read more books,

i want to watch more films,

i want to better myself emotionally and mentally,

and many many other things that i'm too embarrassed to talk about.

i look at other people who are more eloquent, who have more talent, who are better people, and i feel small, lazy, clumsy, and unintellectual. and in some way i think i can be better than what i am now. 

we were all brought up believing that we could all amount to greatness so long as we put in time and effort. but what if not everyone is meant to be great? we can't have an entire world being great. wouldn't great become the new average?

i guess it all boils down to what great personally means. 

i just wish to do something great in my life, whether it means something to me alone, or if it's widely acclaimed. i'm not quite sure how to do that. 

19 may

Met Keith for one of our #adventuretime sessions. It's always super fun and I realize I'm usually happiest after exploring and walking about random places instead of being in town and spending all of my money. I always leave town with a few new extra things and sooooo much guilt. Despite knowing this I still can't help myself from wanting to buy more things. Ugh, the evils of materialism. I definitely need to do something about this crippling need to obtain and hoard things.

Anyway, we went to Sengkang Riverside Park. We wanted to be hipsters and read on a blanket but it failed because there were ants all over the place. Instead, we had a dance party and lip syncing session. It was gr8, because the park was huge and mostly empty, save for a few construction workers here and there taking naps. 

In the middle of the river there was this floating platform with these orange stools and a large, hollowed out mangosteen that is a shelter. Very bizarre and random choice of fruits. 

Met my maternal side of the family for dinner nearby after that! It was to celebrate my grandpa's Chinese birthday. In the photo are my cousin, my brother, my grandparents, and a slightly sun burnt me haha.

Bonus photo of my grandparents being cute:

Apparently my grandpa hasn't been doing too well; I heard from my mom he has trouble recalling some things, and he's been almost deaf for quite a long time already (he insisted he didn't want a hearing aid lmao). He also fell down during one of his usual walks, which he tried to hide from the family haha. He's also lost a lot of weight, but on that night he ate really well!! My mom said it's probably because everyone was together having a meal and it made me feel rather sad, because I don't see them often and when my mom visits I usually can't wake up on time to go. I really need to visit them more often, considering I'm so free at the moment. I don't really know what to talk to them about though, and my mandarin is not at a level where I can hold conversations with ease haha. I'll have to figure something out.

18 may: new ubin seafood

I dragged my family here after watching a segment on it that was broadcast on local tv. I was really looking forward to their beef steak and the fried rice that is fried with the fat that was cut off from the steak. THINK ABOUT THAT! I don't know about you but that sounded freaking sinful, therefore also freaking amazingly yummy. It didn't live up to expectations though. Perhaps my expectations were too high. My dad almost killed me because I made him drive all the way to Sin Ming for this and it was really, really, dismal. He didn't in the end, because I paid for the beef haha. However! They were having an offer on crabs - buy 2 get 1 free, nett price $38, so all was good in the end.