mediocrity

.....

do you ever feel like there are just so many things in the world for a person to do, but there are always so many limitations, be it time, money, location, etc.? except that i don't really have any excuses because in my case it's usually lots of aspirations but no motivation. 

i want to write good content to develop a portfolio of sorts,

i want to read more books,

i want to watch more films,

i want to better myself emotionally and mentally,

and many many other things that i'm too embarrassed to talk about.

i look at other people who are more eloquent, who have more talent, who are better people, and i feel small, lazy, clumsy, and unintellectual. and in some way i think i can be better than what i am now. 

we were all brought up believing that we could all amount to greatness so long as we put in time and effort. but what if not everyone is meant to be great? we can't have an entire world being great. wouldn't great become the new average?

i guess it all boils down to what great personally means. 

i just wish to do something great in my life, whether it means something to me alone, or if it's widely acclaimed. i'm not quite sure how to do that.