Hi I'm back to whine about school.

All I can say is.. I DID NOT learn from semester 1 at all and in fact, I became even LAZIER with my 2-day week what the fuck. Every night before I go to sleep I set out a list of things I have to do but the next day I wake up late and then I end up lazing on the bed and going back to sleep FUCK.

I feel so angry with myself and it's nobody's fault but mine and yet I keep doing the same shit over and over again.

My midterms are in about a week but I've literally done nothing.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckityfuck.

Like I am wasting time and wasting my parent's money on this education if I'm not even putting in my best effort. I know I can do better and I need to put in more effort and last semester's grades are a reflection of that.

FUCK.

I am not as smart as my classmates and yet I refuse to do anything about it out of sheer laziness I really deserve to be shot. I don't deserve this education I DON'T DESERVE ANYTHING.

I hate myself.

"
I used to be that woman who begged for love, who waited for a man to tell her she wasn’t broken….but I wasn’t broken. I became one of those women who had no room for a man because her car was full of flowers and pastries. I became one of those women that men don’t know how to love because they just weren’t quite sure where to put their hands, where to kiss. I became one of those women that men tried to capture and hold close…one of those women that slip through their fingers. You see, I fell in love with life
and the wind whispered,
 ‘Why didn’t you stay? 
Why didn’t you fight?’
I did fight. I just didn’t fight for him anymore. I fought for me.
"

Whispering Bones, by Drew Hairgrove